Why You Want This Guide

“I was lost. This is my road map.” – Matthew

“I feel better now than I have in many years.” – Jennifer

Are you anxious? Have you had an anxiety or panic attack? Do you worry about anxiety or panic attacks?

Does anxiety keep you from doing things you want to do?

Reading this book and completing the forms can help you overcome your anxiety and break free from panic attacks. Overcoming anxiety will help you feel freer and happier. The benefits are long-lasting and do not require medications.

You can use this as a self-help guide for overcoming anxiety on your own or as a workbook while working with a therapist. If you start on your own and find that you are not making progress, consider looking for a therapist who can help you. Information on finding a therapist is provided in the Appendix. Sharing your forms and records with your therapist may help speed-up your improvement.

Does This Really Work?

Yes, this works. I will guide you through a series of steps that will help you learn about anxiety and develop different ways of thinking and acting. These skills incorporate tools from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), positive psychology, and other evidence-based techniques with proven effectiveness.

I know these techniques work because–in addition to studying the supporting research–I have over forty years of professional experience treating panic and anxiety issues. I have helped hundreds of people overcome anxiety by learning and applying these skills.

When someone seeks help for panic attacks or anxiety, I can almost guarantee that they will be feeling better soon. It is thrilling to see people move from helplessness and fear to freedom and empowerment. I love helping people make this amazing change and wrote this book to share this knowledge more widely.

In this book, you will meet people like yourself who were able to overcome anxiety and panic using this six-step approach. Quotations and stories are from people I have helped but the names and identifying details have been changed to protect their privacy.

Here are examples of what clients have said:

“I can’t believe it! I never thought I would feel this good. I have my life back!” — Alyssa

“I was really skeptical at first since I’d had panic attacks for years. Now I’m free and living my life again.” — Jamie

“I thought it would take years to get through this program. I am amazed at how quickly my panic attacks decreased.” — Andrew

“My marriage is so much better. We don’t argue nearly as much because I’m able to run errands and help out again.” — Dorothy

No matter how long you have had panic attacks, no matter how frequent or severe your anxiety, no matter how much anxiety restricts your life, I believe this approach can help you. The people I have helped overcome anxiety include young and old, people from many racial and ethnic backgrounds, cultures, and religions, and with all levels of education from doctors to folks who never finished high school.

Multiple research studies show that people who practice these skills and follow these suggestions get great results. My client's experience supports this as well. Carlos is a good example (see Story: Carlos below): after suffering from panic attacks for more than twenty years, Carlos is now enjoying his life, free of anxiety and fear.

If you think, “That’s great, but it won’t work for me”, ask yourself, what have you got to lose by trying? And then ask yourself what could you gain if you succeed? Isn’t that worth a try?

I encourage you to give this approach your best shot because the biggest factor in whether or not people get better seems to be their willingness to do the work.

Complete the forms and records. Study the information. Apply the ideas. Do the exercises. Practice and use the skills.

Read and re-read this book. Mark it up; underline it; highlight it; memorize it. Think of it as a map showing you the path to a happier, freer life.

This Book is for You

If you have anxiety or panic attacks that frighten you, this book is for you. If you do what I suggest:

• Panic may stop completely or happen much less often.

• You can experience anxiety or panic calmly, if these sensations occur.

• Fear will no longer limit you, and you will be free to live your life.

• You will learn powerful coping skills and gain increased self-confidence.

This book will help reduce your symptoms and lose your fear by:

• Understanding the anxiety cycle in general and your personal anxiety cycle including your anxiety triggers, fight-or-flight sensations, fear and danger thoughts, and fear-based actions.

• Reducing your anxiety triggers.

• Changing how you respond to the physical sensations of anxiety or panic.

• Thinking differently about fears and danger thoughts; challenging unrealistic fear thoughts and making coping plans for true alarms.

• Acting differently when you experience anxiety or panic sensations and learning that these sensations are safe.

• Engaging in activities that previously caused anxiety and learning that these activities are safe.

How Soon Can You Expect to Feel Better?

Most people with anxiety or panic start feeling better within 2-4 weeks as they complete the first couple of steps. Just reading Chapter 2 or completing the first step (Section 1: Understanding Your Anxiety Cycle) can be tremendously helpful.

Almost everyone masters these skills in eight weeks or less. If there are many different activities that you avoid because of panic, you may need additional time.

The skills you learn for overcoming anxiety and panic also help decrease fears, worries, phobias, and general anxiety, and can lift your mood. Learning and using these skills creates a positive cycle of change that can spread to other areas of your life.

The more time you invest, the faster change occurs. The more you study this information, complete the forms, and apply the skills, the better you become at handling panic and anxiety attacks.

Forms and Records

Forms and records are important tools in the process of overcoming anxiety. You can use the forms in book and make copies of the Anxiety Record and Panic Record or see the book website for other form options: www.overcoming.guide.

If Reading About Anxiety Scares You

You are not alone if you feel uncomfortable just reading about anxiety or panic attacks. Many people react this way. Here is what you can do:

Turn to Chapter 2: The Anxiety Cycle for reassuring information. Learn how even the most intense anxiety or panic sensations are harmless and are actually designed to be lifesaving and protective. This information is incredibly reassuring, very calming, and will jumpstart your learning.

As one client said, “After I understood what was going on, I felt so much better. I wasn’t as scared, and I was able to read the book without freaking out. The more I read, the better I felt.”

Jump ahead right now if you wish. When you are ready, come back here to read and work through the rest of the book.

Are You Feeling Depressed?

Sometimes people who have anxiety or panic also feel depressed. Anxiety and depression can go together in one of three ways:

1. Anxiety can cause depression.
   When you are anxious or panicky, you start to see the world as dangerous. You doubt your ability to cope. You may avoid activities you used to enjoy. You begin to lose self-confidence. Your world shrinks. Life is not much fun. It is easy to get depressed. Overcoming your anxiety can cure your depression.

2. Depression can cause anxiety.
   When you are depressed, your thoughts about everything tend to be negative. If you are flooded with negative thoughts, it is easy to become anxious. If depression came first, treating depression may cure your anxiety.

3. Depression and anxiety can be separate issues that are both present.
   Sometimes you have the stinking bad luck to have two separate conditions at the same time: a depression problem and an anxiety problem. Perhaps you know you have a depression problem because you have had prior episodes of depression. Now you are having anxiety or panic and an episode of depression.

Please check to see if you may have depression by completing Form 1-01: Depression Checklist based on your feelings over the last two weeks.

If you feel like you are in a crisis and are going to hurt yourself or someone else, go to the nearest emergency room or call your local medical emergency number (911 in North America and certain other areas), the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255), or text the Crisis Text Line: in the US text HOME to 741741, in Canada text 686868, in the United Kingdom text 85258.

If you are thinking you want to die, if you are getting more and more depressed all the time, or if you are so depressed you cannot function, contact your healthcare provider or a licensed mental health professional and seek treatment for depression immediately. See the Appendix for information on finding a therapist.

What to focus on first, depression or anxiety?

If panic and anxiety started before your depression and you are only mildly depressed, try treating your anxiety and panic first. Your mood may return to normal once panic is treated. Of course, if your depression gets worse, or if you are considering suicide, seek help for your depression immediately.

If depression started before your panic, I often recommend treating the depression first. After your mood has improved, come back to this book if you still have—or worry about having—panic symptoms.

Some people treat their depression first, and then their anxiety; others treat anxiety first, then depression; some treat both at the same time. This is up to you. Be aware that depression can make it harder to follow the instructions in this book. If you suspect that this is happening to you, seek treatment for your depression first, and then deal with your panic.

Story: Amanda

Amanda found that her worry about panic was interfering with her life. It limited what she could do and where she went. She realized she was becoming depressed and decided to get help for her anxiety. As she overcame her anxiety and panic, she got her life back, and her depression went away.

There is hope even if you have had anxiety for years

Do not blame yourself for not overcoming panic on your own. The facts about anxiety are not taught in school. If you are like most people, you do not know what to do when you panic.

You may have been too embarrassed to tell anyone. And even if you asked for advice, many well-meaning people make unhelpful suggestions. Here are some examples: “Just relax!”, “Don’t think about it!”, “It’s all in your head”, or simply, “Nothing is wrong.”

You may have thought, “Well, if it’s all in my head and nothing’s wrong, why does my body feel like this? And exactly how can I relax when I’m anxious – tell me that! If I could relax and not think about what makes me anxious, don’t you think I would have done that already?!?”

Pretty frustrating, hunh? You will not hear any of that from me. In fact, not only will I tell you what to do instead, I will explain why ‘just relaxing’ or trying to ‘not think about it’ will not work. Panic is certainly not ‘all in your head’; anxiety attacks are very physical.

Introducing Amanda, Raj, Liah, and Carlos

Throughout this book stories about Amanda, Raj, Liah, and Carlos illustrate different ways in which people overcome anxiety and panic so that you can learn from their mistakes and successes. These stories are based on people I have helped but names and identifying details have been changed to protect their privacy.

Story: Amanda

Amanda is 33 years old, a single mother with two small children. After her divorce, she had to move back in with her parents. While she appreciates her parents’ support, living with them is stressful. Amanda works part-time in a small bakery and doesn’t make a lot of money. She worries about her future, her children, and whether she will be able to make it on her own.

Amanda’s first panic attack happened when she was shopping at the mall with her mother. Amanda remembers it vividly, “We had been in the mall for about an hour when all of a sudden I felt really strange, like I wasn’t in my body. I told my mom I needed to sit down because I was dizzy. I felt like I couldn’t get a deep breath. I was shaking and felt numb and tingly in my arms and legs. I thought I was dying!”

Amanda’s mom got mad at her for “not eating lunch like I told you to,” but Amanda didn’t think that was the problem. She was sure she was suffocating. “I was really panicked. I told my mom, ‘We have to go outside right now and get fresh air before I pass out.’” They went outside, sat for a few minutes, then drove home.

By the time they got home, Amanda felt better, and she was convinced that leaving the mall had saved her life. That was two years ago. She has continued to worry about having another panic attack ever since. She has never gone back to the mall and now she feels uncomfortable in other crowded places. Lately, she has started to feel anxious about going anywhere and she feels like her world is shrinking.

Story: Raj

Raj is a happily married 45-year-old engineer with a son in middle school. He works long hours in a technology start-up and commutes an hour each way in heavy traffic. His long commute and demanding job can be stressful.

Raj had his first panic attack five years ago after getting food poisoning at a big work-related dinner party. Shortly after eating, he started feeling sick to his stomach. He tried to ignore it, but his stomachache worsened. He went home early and began vomiting and having diarrhea. He worried about what might have happened if he had stayed at the party. Ever since then, he starts to panic if he knows he will be in a social setting where he will be expected to eat.

Story: Liah

Liah is a 22-year-old woman who was a straight-A student all through school. She recently graduated from college and started working for a large marketing firm. She loves her job but worries about making mistakes and never feels like she has prepared enough. Because she is eager to succeed and impress her bosses, she spends 50-60 hours a week in the office and takes work home at night and on the weekends.

Liah’s anxiety began about 9 months ago, shortly after she started her new job. She panics every Monday morning on her drive to work, anticipating the demands waiting for her at the marketing firm. She has also started waking up during the night in a panic. “It’s awful! I feel like I’m not connected to my body. It’s like I don’t have any control of myself during those times. And why does it happen when I’m asleep?”

Story: Carlos

Carlos is a 67-year-old retired auto mechanic who has worked hard all his life. He helped his parents and his sisters, as well as supporting his own family while his wife stayed home and raised their four sons. Now the sons are married and Carlos and his wife care for three of their nine grandchildren during the day while the parents work. Whenever there is a problem in the family, everybody turns to Carlos.

Carlos has been living with panic and anxiety for over 20 years. Suddenly, with no warning, he gets a fast, racing heartbeat, pressure or pain in his chest, sweating, hot flashes, and a choking sensation in his throat. These are Carlos’ anxiety sensations.

Carlos’ strongest fear is that he is having a heart attack. Because of that fear, he has seen many doctors and has had all kinds of medical tests (his fear-based actions). In addition to seeing several medical specialists, he has gone to the Emergency Room many times over the years. Doctor after doctor told him “There’s nothing wrong with your body.” He has become frustrated, angry, and defensive because it seems obvious to him that something is wrong, but the doctors can’t find it. When his physician recommended that he see a mental health professional, he really resented it. The first thing he said when he came for therapy was “There’s nothing wrong with my head, doc. There is something wrong with my body!”

Carlos’ experience is common among people with panic and anxiety. When the medical doctors urged him to see a mental health professional, he thought they were trying to get rid of him. Even when his wife urged him to see a therapist, he was reluctant, worrying that the family would be ashamed of him. “I’m a strong person. I take care of everybody. I’m not weak or crazy. This is physical. Talking won’t help me.”

Getting the Most from this Book

I have been helping people get over having anxiety attacks for many years. It does not seem to matter how frequent or how intense your anxiety or panic symptoms are, or how long you have been having them. What matters most is your commitment to learning and changing. The more time and energy you put into this process, the more benefit you will get from it.

Read and re-read this book. Mark it up. Make it yours. Take the information to heart and practice the tools.

Make a Commitment to Yourself

You are worth the time it takes to break free of anxiety and panic. You deserve to feel better and have your life back. Learning to apply these new skills takes about eight weeks, more for a few people, a lot less for others. 

Make a commitment to yourself. Schedule several hours each week for the next eight weeks to read this book and practice the exercises. Plan times in your schedule right now. What days and times will you set aside? Use Form 1-02: Setting Goals (below) to set your target date for being free of anxiety and panic, and the specific days and times when you will work on overcoming anxiety and panic.

Now go put these appointments in your calendar. Remember: you are worth it; make yourself a priority. Make these appointments with yourself—and keep them!

Story: Amanda

Amanda set her alarm to get up an hour earlier on weekday mornings. This gave her quiet time to read and do the exercises before her children woke up.

Story: Raj

Raj blocked out time in his schedule on Mondays and Wednesdays from 7-9 pm. He left work early to make sure he had this time free, turned off his cell phone, and did not check e-mail or try to multi-task during his scheduled time.

Story: Liah

Liah joined a panic therapy group that met weekly. She made a commitment to stop working through her lunch breaks and read this book during that time instead. She did the exercises at home on weekends.

Story: Carlos

Carlos and his wife were busy during the workweek babysitting their grandchildren. By the end of the day, they were happy—but exhausted. They read this book together on the weekends.

Track Your Progress

Later in this book, you will start tracking your progress using Anxiety and Panic Records. Tracking your anxiety or panic attacks, overall anxiety level, and worry about anxiety or panic will help you notice when episodes of anxiety become fewer, shorter, and less severe and your anxiety and worry about anxiety decrease.

Your Panic Records will help you identify important patterns and analyze your personal anxiety cycle. This will let you focus your efforts where they will do the most good, and see results as things improve.

The forms will guide, empower, and encourage you. If you want to start tracking now, see Chapter 8": Start Charting.

Stories: Using the Forms

Amanda kept her forms and this book on her bedside table. That made it easy to update the forms at the end of each day and read the book first thing in the morning.

Liah and Carlos bought notebooks for their forms. Liah liked a small notebook that was easy to carry in her purse and didn’t get lost between work, home, and her therapy group. “It really helped me keep track of what I was learning.”

Carlos said having the forms in his notebook made it easy to see his progress. “Whenever I got discouraged, I could look back and see how much better I was and how much progress I had made. That kept me going.”

At first, Raj did not use the forms to track progress and patterns. He was busy and filling out forms felt “like a waste of time”. He was embarrassed to fill out a Panic Record around other people and did not want to excuse himself for a few minutes. He would promise himself he’d fill out the form later, but somehow “I never found time.”

Several weeks into therapy, Raj was not getting better as we would have expected. He realized that he was only going to get out of treatment as much as he put into it. He started doing the forms on his phone using the Web App and filling out Panic Records as soon as he could when he had panic sensations. “I realized I had to make this a priority.”

Completing the forms helped Raj identify patterns in his thoughts and actions. This information helped him make changes, and he began seeing improvement. He told us, “The best advice I can give someone is to keep the records. Believe me, it is worth the trouble.”

The people who get better the fastest and make the most progress, are those who devote the most time and effort to changing. I encourage you to do everything suggested in this book. Each recommended action is included because other people with panic have found that it helped.

Reward Yourself

Reward and praise yourself for completing each step. Notice how your efforts contribute to your progress. Praise yourself for buying and reading this book. Do something enjoyable every time you finish a chapter, fill out a form, or complete an exercise.

Use the Form 1-03: Rewards Plan to give yourself incentives for completing each of the six steps in this book.

Focus on the Positive

Compare your ratings over time as you progress through the book. Focus on positive changes and keep going. Overcoming anxiety and panic is your goal; this book is your path to that goal.

Think of each form, each exercise, and each change, as one step along that path. You only need to take one step at a time. Just keep taking the next small step and you will reach your goal.

Neither the number of steps, nor the size of each step, matters. What matters is taking the next step, whatever it is–and continuing to take the next step—one step after another, until you are free of anxiety and panic.

Keep moving forward. Panic can only defeat you if you stop. I have seen people free themselves from panic who had trouble even leaving the house before learning how to overcome their anxiety. They did it and you can do it too.

Getting Help

Some people find it is easier and faster to work through this process with help from a therapist, friends, or family. Consider looking for professional help if you:

• Have trouble starting the process described here.

• Feel stuck, like you are not making progress, or are going around in circles.

• Marked several items on Form 1-01: Depression Checklist and feel that depression may be making it hard for you to work on anxiety and panic.

• Have other reasons why you think help from a therapist would be beneficial.

See the Appendix for information on finding a therapist.

Friends and Family

It helps to have someone who can remind you of the facts if you panic and can encourage you to use the new skills you are learning. Pick people you trust and with whom you feel comfortable. Your helpers should make you feel better, not worse or more anxious. At the same time, overcoming panic means facing your fears. You do want people who will encourage you to change.

Find people who will praise your efforts, congratulate you on your progress, and celebrate your successes. You may want to have your helping friend or family member read this book so they share your new knowledge about panic and can support you as you complete the forms and do the exercises.

Share your goals on Form 1-02: Setting Goals and your plans for rewarding yourself on Form 1-03: Rewards Plan with your friends and family so they can help you meet your goals and remind you of planned rewards if you get discouraged.

Unhelpful

Try to avoid talking about your anxiety with people who become angry or critical. Sometimes well-meaning, caring people give unhelpful advice because of their own anxiety or because they are misinformed. Do not let others encourage you to run away or avoid. You do not want to involve people who will increase your fears.

Helpers can lovingly encourage you to push yourself. Seek out people who will support your freedom, not your fear. Your fear does not need helpers!

Story: Amanda

Amanda tried to do the program on her own at first, but after a couple of weeks, she asked a friend for help. Together, they read this book and learned about panic. “It was such a relief to stop trying to hide my anxiety. And my friend would encourage me whenever I felt down or scared.” Amanda made more progress, and their friendship became stronger.

Story: Carlos

Carlos felt better after he included his wife in his efforts. Even though he had been having panic attacks for years, he and his wife learned a lot of new information and coping skills that helped them both. She was able to remind him about the facts whenever he would worry that something was medically wrong. Over time, Carlos told several family members and was surprised to learn that two of his children had anxiety as well. It felt good to share what he had learned and to help his children overcome their anxiety.

Keep in Touch

Please keep in touch, even if you get what you need without reading the entire book.

If you find this helpful, please tell your friends and family, post reviews on Amazon.com or similar websites, and like or share our Facebook page. Also let us know (via the book website) if you see ways that we can improve this material.

Think of this book as your map, taking you step by step along the path to a happier, freer life, and order your copy now:

• In the United States click the Buy on Amazon.com link below or request ISBN 978-0979640803 from your local bookstore or library.

• Outside of the US, order ISBN 978-0979640803 from the Amazon.com website serving your country, or your local bookstore.